Domestic Surprises

Ah, domestic surprises. This will be a slight departure from our regularly posted content…

There have been a number of times in my 5+ years living in various apartments around Brooklyn’s less-than-finest neighborhoods that I have encountered a domestic surprise. For example:

6 uniformed police officers banging down my door at 6:00am looking for some suspect guy a week after I had moved in, and after a night of touring all of the bars! The police were pleasantly surprised that we were not affiliated with some murderer guy who used to live in my apartment (WTF?) and liked our decor!

South American incense setting off the entire home’s smoke detector system (loud robot voice: fire, fire) and having to immediately run downstairs to turn it off (old man neighbor alert!).

My boyfriend’s sister, mother, and nosy friend stopping by at 11:30pm, with a 2-second head’s up to visit, eat cake, and show my whole apartment to her friend. There was laundry hanging everywhere, and dishes, and mouse traps. oh my!

All true stories, people! Now, while you may find my life entertaining… I am finally starting to learn some life lessons from these domestic surprises.

Mostly, I do not like to be caught off guard or embarrassed in my own place. Home is the one place you can let your guard down, put your hair up, and not interact with people… Unless you are living with a Latino. Luckily I have grown to love his family and am actually used to these surprise visits. Here’s the drill:

1. Cute house clothes. Always wear something that you could run out the door to shut off the fire alarm or chase after the UPS truck. This does not work so well in the summertime. Since I am currently unemployed, I will be stocking up on some more leggings and longer shirts. Daytime pajamas?

2. Keep snacks, wine or tea on hand, but not too healthy.. people don’t ask for food in your house because they want something healthy. Baked goods, cheese and crackers, popcorn, etc. Even though you aren’t given opportunity to prepare, it will look like you’re always prepared!

3. Keep tidy. At all times. We are WAY better at this when we are hosting airbnb guests, and not so much the rest of the times. Make your bed daily. Bathroom should have a standard of cleanliness. Stay on top of the dishes. Put your stuff away when you’re finished with it. It will make things easier and you will be less paranoid of potential mortifying moments.

4. Have enough places to sit for guests. They are going to stay and visit anyways, might as well make them comfortable. I am still working on this one with my whole apartment makeover and cannot wait to get a real sofa in here (more updates soon!).

There you have it, these four things will help your home feel more relaxing and handle domestic surprises like a grown up.




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